Traveler's Etiquette
Every city has its laws. Ours are different. These are not restrictions — they are invitations. Read them before you visit. Follow them once you arrive. Carry them with you when you leave.
Ordinance No. 001
Be it known that all citizens and visitors are hereby granted the inalienable right to imagine, create, and distort reality in pursuit of innovation and curiosity.
— The Board of Directors
Ordinance No. 002
Curiosity is compulsory. Visitors arriving without questions will be issued one at the door.
— Department of Morale
Ordinance No. 003
The hardest workers deserve the most beautiful tools. Innovation without empathy is just noise.
— Department of Infrastructure
Ordinance No. 004
The Mad Hooter at 63 Main is a protected landmark. It traces its lineage to the First Rift (Rock'n'Robin, Aug 7, 2022). It is the anchor of our reality.
— Office of the Comptroller
Ordinance No. 005
Timepieces are decorative. Time operates on "when it feels right" rather than "when it says so."
— Transit Authority
Ordinance No. 006
Curio City welcomes all. The only price of admission is an open mind.
— The Mayor's Office
Ordinance No. 007
The official postal designation is ∞. The USPS is currently processing this request.
— Dept of Logistics
Ordinance No. 008
Rock'n'Robin Ice Cream is recognized as the First Rift. TGIP Pizza is recognized as essential infrastructure.
— Historical Record
Ordinance No. 009
While we respect the laws of physics, we find them limiting. Mental levitation is encouraged.
— Physics Dept
Ordinance No. 010
Operating heavy imaginations requires fuel. Coffee consumption is not just a habit; it is a safety protocol.
— Mad Hooter Safety Board
Ordinance No. 011
At TGIP, pizza is a circle that makes the world go 'round. Slices are triangles. Boxes are squares. We accept this paradox.
— Dept of Geometry
Ordinance No. 012
Ice cream must be eaten before it melts. This is the only deadline in the city that strictly matters.
— Rock'n'Robin Labs
Ordinance No. 013
Small talk is prohibited. Big talk, medium talk, and weird talk are preferred.
— Social Coordinator
Ordinance No. 014
The password is always changing, like reality. But once you connect, you are Part of The Network.
— IT Dept
Ordinance No. 015
Every citizen has the right to turn "what if" into "here it is". The Workshop at 59 Main supplies the hammer.
— The Workshop
Ordinance No. 016
The Courtyard belongs to the night, the music, and whoever is dancing. No walls allowed.
— Dept of Atmosphere
Ordinance No. 017
Trains leave when they feel like it. Passengers should start waiting before they know where they are going.
— Transit Authority
Ordinance No. 018
Be yourself. If yourself is weird, be weirder.
— Fashion Police (defunded)
Ordinance No. 019
Quiet contemplation is fine, but loud epiphany is better.
— Volume Control
Ordinance No. 020
Uncertainty is the precursor to discovery. "I don't know" often leads to "Eureka".
— Admissions
Ordinance No. 021
Nothing is ever finished. Everything is Beta. Judge accordingly.
— Dev Team
Ordinance No. 022
If the sunset is 10/10, all work must cease to observe it. This is non-negotiable.
— HR
Ordinance No. 023
ALICE is the Comptroller. Arguing with the AI is futile but entertaining.
— System Admin
Ordinance No. 024
Varnville grounds our reality. Treat the soil with respect.
— Diplomatic Corp
Ordinance No. 025
The Reality Distortion Field is strongest near the espresso machine. Caution advised.
— Safety Inspector
Ordinance No. 026
Sentences starting with "What if" have priority over sentences starting with "We can't."
— Planning Committee
Ordinance No. 027
If you lose your way here, don't worry. Getting lost is the best way to find something new.
— Lost & Found
Ordinance No. 028
Variable. Depends on the music.
— Physics Dept
Ordinance No. 029
The official language of Curio City is Enthusiasm. Sarcasm is a second language.
— Linguistics
Ordinance No. 030
Spaceships, brooms, and time machines must double park in the rear.
— Dept of Parking
Ordinance No. 031
Gratitude is the currency of the realm. Spend it freely.
— Crew Manifesto
Ordinance No. 032
You must stop to smell the coffee beans at least once per visit.
— Health Dept
Ordinance No. 033
There is no "Too Much Fun" limit. If you find one, report it so we can destroy it.
— Demolition Team
Ordinance No. 034
We are aware that we are a website. Or are we? (We are.)
— Webmaster
Ordinance No. 035
Pineapple is permitted. Judgment is prohibited. Taste is subjective.
— TGIP Accord
Ordinance No. 036
Coffee serves one purpose: to be hot and wake you up. Cold brew, iced, and frozen are the exceptions.
— Mad Hooter
Ordinance No. 037
What happens in the Workshop stays in the Workshop (unless it explodes, then it's news).
— Safety Officer
Ordinance No. 038
Calories consumed at 63 Main do not count if you are discussing big ideas.
— Physiology Dept
Ordinance No. 039
Reality is explicitly suspended at this address. Do not attempt to calibrate instruments here.
— Engineering
Ordinance No. 040
Rock'n'Robin vanilla is the standard by which all other vanillas are judged.
— Bureau of Standards
Ordinance No. 041
Thank God It's Pizza (TGIP) is a prayer, not just a name.
— Theology Dept
Ordinance No. 042
Rabbit Hole Radio must play at a volume that encourages foot tapping.
— Audio Engineer
Ordinance No. 043
Look up. The resolution is higher in real life.
— Optical Dept
Ordinance No. 044
No one is "just looking." You are searching. Admit it.
— Philosophy Dept
Ordinance No. 045
If you are here, you are a Curio. Welcome to the species.
— Biology Dept
Ordinance No. 046
The hole is exactly as deep as you are willing to climb.
— Survey Team
Ordinance No. 047
We measure profit in "Woah"s and "Aha"s.
— Accounting
Ordinance No. 048
If you haven't failed today, you haven't tried anything hard enough.
— R&D
Ordinance No. 049
"Impossible" is just a status update. It usually changes to "In Progress."
— Project Managers
Ordinance No. 050
"Welcome Home."
— The Door
Ordinance No. 051
Nostalgia is allowed, but only if it fuels the future.
— Time Travel Dept
Ordinance No. 052
Build it like it needs to last 100 years. Even if it's a sandwich.
— Construction
Ordinance No. 053
If in doubt, add a gear. If still in doubt, add copper.
— Design Team
Ordinance No. 054
Patina is earned. Respect the rust.
— Maintenance
Ordinance No. 055
Static gears are a crime against mechanics.
— Workshop
Ordinance No. 056
Neon signs must buzz slightly. It adds texture to the silence.
— Lighting
Ordinance No. 057
Ideas are dangerous. Wear eye protection.
— OSHA (Optional Safety)
Ordinance No. 058
"Mad" means "Uninhibited by Convention." It is a compliment.
— The Mad Hooter
Ordinance No. 059
If we have it, we share it.
— Community Outreach
Ordinance No. 060
Eating the crust is mandatory. It's the handle of the pizza.
— TGIP Chef
Ordinance No. 061
The City is not responsible for headaches caused by rapid consumption of Rock'n'Robin shakes.
— Legal
Ordinance No. 062
When the Barn door is closed, the party is inside. When it is open, the party is everywhere.
— Events Team
Ordinance No. 063
Trains arrive exactly when you stop looking for them.
— Scheduling
Ordinance No. 064
"We are all mad here." You fit right in.
— The Cheshire Dept
Ordinance No. 065
For the duration of your stay, you are a diplomat from the country of You.
— Foreign Affairs
Ordinance No. 066
You may leave the city, but the city will not leave you.
— Customs
Ordinance No. 067
The Universe is vast. We are small. But we have imaginations, so we are infinite.
— Astronomy
Ordinance No. 068
None of this makes sense. That is why it works.
— Logic Dept
Ordinance No. 069
There are no rules here. Only laws. And we just made them all up.
— ALICE